“Life is the most difficult exam. Most people fail because they try to copy each other not realizing that everyone has a different question paper.” (Jay Shetty)
My friend showed me his hand. “Can you see? Here,” he pointed on the scar on his left hand, “I tried to kill myself one year ago.” I did not expect that. I did not. I looked into his eyes knowing that he had had some problems with his family, but was it really that serious? Suddenly he opened up. “My mom is pressuring me every day to get married. It’s enough of your dream to go and study abroad, she says to me. There are plenty of single girls around – she wants me to choose and have babies as soon as possible,” he explained painfully. “And it goes like that… Every. Single. Day.” (Central Asia)
Something broke inside me. Not only in that moment but every time when someone tells me about the pressure which is not in harmony with their own heart and dreams. Want to become an actor? – Oh, you better choose law, it’s more safe and not such a joke. Wanna live more eco-friendly? – Why… the other ones are still consuming and polluting, you can’t make any difference there. Parents don’t want you to change the field? Friends can’t understand why you chose to be vegetarian?
When I started travelling a few years ago and write this blog, I heard it too often: “Why do you think there are people interested in one more travel blog? Look around – how many people do the same?” I looked around and still look… but all I can see are totally unique people. But how many of us give up on our dreams only because of the pressure? Millions. Billions.
Seems like we all should follow this great asphalt road and:
- Finish school and then university
- Find a prestigious job and earn decent money
- Find a partner and get married
- Work, work and work to get a bigger house and better car
But life is not a road made of bitumen.
- I know people who have never attended university but are successful in their own business.
- I know people who were successful in their own business but decided to become hippies.
- I know people who graduated at 20, but found a job when they were 25.
- I know people who found a job straight out of university, but are hating what they do.
- I know people who took a gap year after high-school and found their purpose.
- I know people with disabilities but they are living their lives without any complaints.
- I know people who have children, but are single.
- I know people who are married, but had to wait ten years to have children.
- I know people in relationships but who love someone else.
- I know people who love each other but aren’t together.
Every each of us has their own clock and everything happens exactly when it has to happen. Sometimes you may look at your friends and think they are ahead of you, some of them may seem to be behind. But they have their own time and their own clock, so do you.
- Getting your degree at the age of 40 is still an achievement.
- Not to get married but live happily is still beautiful.
- Making a family at the age of 35 is still possible.
- Falling in love when 75 is not so rare.
This imperfect world is just so perfect just because of the imperfection. I want to conclude this post with the thought I also started my journey with. I try to keep it in my mind all the time in order not to forget to follow my own heart:
If you can choose only one book from the library where there is a book of every person stored, would it be “[your name] aka The Life Lived From the Heart”? And if you choose that book would you hold your breathe while reading it because it’s so… fucking… capturing? Chapter after chapter you’d hope that the principal character takes all the steps needed to fulfill his dreams even if it includes sleeping in the ditch, failing a business or spending Christmas alone. And you wouldn’t close the book before you finish it, smile and say “Hell, that was an adorable life…”.
“Wait… that was my life?!”
“Yeah, that was my life!”
Would you choose your own book?
I’m currently traveling (I choose this life) and right now as writing this answer I’m laying down in a beautiful park and… Wow.. This post is so inspiring to me and so full of truth…
It makes me so sad when I hear that people are actually not following their dreams…
What in life is more important than doing what bring you happiness on daily basis? Nothing…
You can make tons of money.. If you don’t do what makes you happy then at the end, it’s worthless …
Life is indeed full of unique people.. Every single person is unique and have their own dream.. The most difficult sometimes is to find your true and real dream and to understand what makes you truly happy in life..
I do believe that we are the first generation in a long time to really ask ourselves those questions… What I’m doing does it make me happy? Does it bring me real happiness? Am I doing it for the others or for myself? Is it really the life I want or am I just following a “logic” of life..
More and more people are today opening themselves to the real question about real life…
After traveling for quite a long time now, I have met so many people, men, women, family.. Who decided to pursue their owns dreams and their happiness by not following a system that we have creating.. And this shows me and reminds me all the time that everyone can do it..
Of course it’s much more easier to go with the flow and do like “everyone else”, try to copy others and believe that because we have a nice car, a big house, enough money to be “safe” we are happy..
I think one of the most powerful example for me is that is so many people have kids without ever REALLY asking themselves, do I really myself want kids? Why? Or do I have kids because that’s part of “a normal life..” and that if I said that I don’t, then people will judge me…
It’s for some people a very hard decision to make to break that vicious circle but I’m one of the positive guy who thinks that at some point, human will wake up, stop following this capitalist system that makes you believe that what bring you happiness are the material things… it’s just so ephemeral…
I love how you describe the fact that every single person has their own clock.. It is so much like that.. We tend to always compare ourselves to see if we are in advance or late.. Doing the right thing or not… But it’s not like that.. The present moment is the only important moment for every single person… And every present moment is unique for each single person… And it’s about you, about YOUR life, not about what other thing or how you will look in the society..
The book should almost be in real life something that everyone should start writing day after day from the beginning (when we first start to know how to write) and keep on doing it until the end.. I think that after a while, reading that book would definitely make us realize as you said, “wow the principal character is… so fucking.. capturing.. What a life..!” and this even after failure because failure is also part of life.. or when reading, would you think, I wish he would have done thinks differently… Because at the end, he might be rich, but… was he really happy?
You would then know that you are not doing what you really want to do and that it’s still time to change and do what really brings you Real and True Happiness…
You of course need to take in consideration the culture, where and how and realized that it’s for some people not so easy to pursue their dream… But everything is possible…
I have met also some people like your friend who were force to a life they didn’t choose or like to do and it always break my heart to hear and witness it.. Hopefully soon we will live in world where everyone make their own decision about their own life with the TRUE question about happiness.
That’s a long answer but the post was Sooo interesting and so inspiring that it deserves a proper answer 😉
I love the title which is so exact with the reality and is an exam that everyone has to take (and the most difficult one) but that most of the people do not read the question properly and answer “off topic” with their own life..
Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful and important subject of life.. !
Can’t wait to read you more !