“Life is the most difficult exam. Most people fail because they try to copy each other not realizing that everyone has a different question paper.” (Jay Shetty)
My friend showed me his hand. “Can you see? Here,” he pointed on the scar on his left hand, “I tried to kill myself one year ago.” I did not expect that. I did not. I looked into his eyes knowing that he had had some problems with his family, but was it really that serious? Suddenly he opened up. “My mom is pressuring me every day to get married. It’s enough of your dream to go and study abroad, she says to me. There are plenty of single girls around – she wants me to choose and have babies as soon as possible,” he explained painfully. “And it goes like that… Every. Single. Day.” (Central Asia)
Something broke inside me. Not only in that moment but every time when someone tells me about the pressure which is not in harmony with their own heart and dreams. Want to become an actor? – Oh, you better choose law, it’s more safe and not such a joke. Wanna live more eco-friendly? – Why… the other ones are still consuming and polluting, you can’t make any difference there. Parents don’t want you to change the field? Friends can’t understand why you chose to be vegetarian?
When I started travelling a few years ago and write this blog, I heard it too often: “Why do you think there are people interested in one more travel blog? Look around – how many people do the same?” I looked around and still look… but all I can see are totally unique people. But how many of us give up on our dreams only because of the pressure? Millions. Billions.
Seems like we all should follow this great asphalt road and:
- Finish school and then university
- Find a prestigious job and earn decent money
- Find a partner and get married
- Work, work and work to get a bigger house and better car
But life is not a road made of bitumen.
- I know people who have never attended university but are successful in their own business.
- I know people who were successful in their own business but decided to become hippies.
- I know people who graduated at 20, but found a job when they were 25.
- I know people who found a job straight out of university, but are hating what they do.
- I know people who took a gap year after high-school and found their purpose.
- I know people with disabilities but they are living their lives without any complaints.
- I know people who have children, but are single.
- I know people who are married, but had to wait ten years to have children.
- I know people in relationships but who love someone else.
- I know people who love each other but aren’t together.
Every each of us has their own clock and everything happens exactly when it has to happen. Sometimes you may look at your friends and think they are ahead of you, some of them may seem to be behind. But they have their own time and their own clock, so do you.
- Getting your degree at the age of 40 is still an achievement.
- Not to get married but live happily is still beautiful.
- Making a family at the age of 35 is still possible.
- Falling in love when 75 is not so rare.
This imperfect world is just so perfect just because of the imperfection. I want to conclude this post with the thought I also started my journey with. I try to keep it in my mind all the time in order not to forget to follow my own heart:
If you can choose only one book from the library where there is a book of every person stored, would it be “[your name] aka The Life Lived From the Heart”? And if you choose that book would you hold your breathe while reading it because it’s so… fucking… capturing? Chapter after chapter you’d hope that the principal character takes all the steps needed to fulfill his dreams even if it includes sleeping in the ditch, failing a business or spending Christmas alone. And you wouldn’t close the book before you finish it, smile and say “Hell, that was an adorable life…”.
“Wait… that was my life?!”
“Yeah, that was my life!”
Would you choose your own book?